Something I want girls to know.

As girls I don't think we are told enough of the right information about life. We're not warned enough about the pressures and expectations that will be put upon us especially when it comes to sex.

Yep that three letter word that depending on who you ask and what day of the week it is, either means a little or means a lot.

I was always told whether directly from friends, older family members or indirectly through the crappy teen dramas on the telly box, that for us gals sex is always going to be a big deal. Or at least it's supposed to be. And nowhere was this pressure placed more than on our virginity. Dear christ the amount of times I've heard people bang on and on about how the first time will be insert adjective here, Special, painful, bloody, awkward, scary. 

I'd love to know where the PSA is for boys and the first time they do it? I'd like to see how many boys are told that 'losing' their virginity is like losing a part of themselves or that they are 'giving' themselves to someone else. I fucking loathe it. It honestly has helped me to build up such an anxiety around the whole act, it's sad. 

Having sex for the first time shouldn't be a fucking trauma for anyone. Everyone's first time is different and yes for some girls it can be (insert aforementioned adjectives,) but it's definitely not a one size fits all situation.

I just wish that out of all the scary, anxiety inducing things people told me about the first time I had sex, that someone would have stopped to tell me that it wasn't supposed to feel terrifying making the decision to 'give' or to 'lose' a part of myself to someone.

Sex can be a big deal and it can also not be, that label is completely up to you and the situation you are in. Don't let anyone else dictate what something should mean to you. You don't lose anything when you have sex for the first time, you won't be less virtuous or innocent, it's all bullshit they tell you to scare and shame you for something natural. 

Not only is it possible for you to not be traumatised by the experience, you may even *gasp enjoy it? Crazy I know, that's another thing *they don't want you to know. 

Be kind to yourself.

Love,

The Girl in Blue

xoxo