Don't Be A Doormat!

Are you an easy going character? Do people find you easy to talk to, confide in, walk all over? If you answered yes to the last question (because lets face it the other questions were pretty pointless,) then this post is for and about you.

There is a big difference between being a nice person and being a push over. A nice person has limits to how far they will allow themselves to be pushed by people who like to take advantage. A push over has no concept of limit and most of the time has little in the way of self respect.

 Hard fact here, this world is full of people who are nice, people who pretend to be nice and then there are the people who are not so nice (although I realise its not so black and white). The key to learning what your limits are is to ask yourself what that person trying to use you as a personal foot wiper has ever done to deserve the many favours you do for them. Better still, ask yourself, which type of the aforementioned person(s) are they. If the answer ranges from very little to nothing at all or anything from pretending to be nice and onwards, you have your answer. And that answer is no. Its a word many people I know and I include myself in this have a hard time saying (and accepting.)

Being the type of person who walks all over people is nothing compared to being the down trodden one. For the former, people already know they're arseholes so mostly steer clear, you learn everything you need to know about them just through watching them trample all over their 'friends'. The latter however can be misjudged based on how they allow themselves to be treated, nobody likes a spineless lass or lad. I mean for one, they're no fun to mess with because they have no limits and two, it comes across like they have no respect for themselves and that is not a fun person to get drunk with.

Even if half those negative traits aren't true about you, it won't matter anyway because it's not like you'd actually have the guts to correct them would you? Its a loser's game being the pushover and trust me never saying no means you will never win.

It's so hard to tell someone, a friend, a loved one the 'n' word. Maybe you're afraid they'll lash out, take it personally and never speak to you again. But if I were you, I would question whether or not that particular person deserves to be in your good graces anyway. Drama queens and spoilt brats please exit stage right!

Telling somebody no doesn't mean you're a bad person. If you're uncomfortable with the favour they ask of you, it is well within your right to politely (or rudely,) decline without feeling like you've stepped on their puppy.

I think the best reason not to be a total pushover stems mainly from within. Do you really want to have no respect for yourself? Like really? I think you should have most respect for yourself before anyone else because you are the only one who has to live with yourself 100% of the time, no time outs. Could you look at yourself with anything but loathing if you're only identifier was that you could never say no? I know I couldn't.

Its a shitty hand you get dealt, being the nice one, the quiet one who will let your 'friend' get away with anything. And that hand will only get shittier once that friend has used you all up and fucked off to find another chump to screw over because you won't even have your dignity at the end.

Look my point is, you don't have to be a total bitch (although it is fun,) there is nothing wrong with having a bleeding heart (trust me I know,) but for christ's sakes please don't be a bloody idiot and stand up for yourself from time to time because at the end of the day, you're all you've got.

Respect yourself,

Love
The Girl in Blue
xoxo