Lets talk about depression.

Keeping in theme with the cheery posts recently, today I want to talk about depression.
There are many common perceptions when it comes to mental health issues. Here are just a few that I've heard get tossed around.

1. Everybody gets depressed. Its no big deal.
2. You're not depressed. You just need to chose to be happy. Suppress it.
3. Depression isn't a mental illness everyone has it at some point.

You might be thinking to yourself right now, yeah so what? Some of those points are pretty sound. To which I would say that anyone who uses one of these as a way of writing off someone struggling with depression, is either ignorant of what depression actually is or simply doesn't care. And I know which one I find to be worse.

So let me start by addressing these statements one by one.

1. The notion that since 'everybody' gets depressed its rendered something you just have to get on with, to me is a very British attitude and its awful. Honestly I don't think that everybody is unlucky enough to suffer from depression in their lives, all people do however, go through times when they feel down. I would hazard a guess that a lot of people have, more than anyone would actually think but still to assume that its so common that its normal is ridiculous. It is a big deal. It can be crushing and frustrating and never ending. You wouldn't tell someone with cancer that its no big deal, why treat a different kind of battle with any less respect?

2. This one is one I've heard a lot. Sometimes its been told to me disguised as advice. Well its not very good advice I've found because being depressed isn't choosing not to be happy, its not a choice at all. I bet if you speak to anyone who either suffers with bouts of depression (like myself) or anyone who has ever experienced it at one point or another, I would hope that they would tell you something similar to what I'm about to. If it was a choice between feeling happy and feeling the way depression makes you feel, it wouldn't even be a competition, I would chose to be happy 100%, if they were my only options that is.

3. This final statement is possibly the most ignorant of them all and the one that upsets me the most. Its once again the notion that because its common its normal and therefore not that serious. Depression is a mental illness. People suffer and struggle with it more than once in their lives. It becomes something you get given medication to try to control. It dulls down your entire being. You go from being 100% you, mood swings and all, to a totally different person. You become your depression. (I can't stress enough that this is just my experience with depression I do not speak for everyone with depression).

Growing up in the kind of society that many of us do (western, fast paced), its easy for us to get caught up with labels. If you could count all the labels you could ever possibly fit into, well you'd be wasting a lot of time. But there is a particular stigma that hangs over mental health. Looking back at the history of how England especially dealt with mentally ill people, it makes me shudder. I feel grateful that there are so many more resources for people who feel isolated by the rest of society to reach out to. Although I myself have never been brave enough to do so, for now just the knowledge that its there should I ever need it is enough.

I remember the first time I realised I was depressed and I told someone about it. It wasn't the huge relief I thought it would be to be honest. We were on holiday and I was quite deep in my own world. The very first words to come out of her mouth after watching tears roll down my face were. 'Oh thank god, I thought it was something serious'

So like I said, not the best reception. As someone who prides herself on being independent, forward thinking and open minded, I sat and listened to her list the many reasons SHE thought I was the way I was. Among many of them were some real golden ones.

• You're a creative mind aren't you, bound to happen. You're too much in your own head (way to stereotype)
• Its your generation. We just had to get on with it. (yes and look how mentally stable you are)
• You've always been like this, never thought anything of it before.

Truly I expected all of those words to come tumbling out of her mouth, that's why I think I'm still in doubt over whether or not I truly have it. This disease of the mind. What I found most troubling was that the person I confided in actually thought that this was yet another label I WANTED to add to my being. Like anyone wants to be depressed. I won't deny the utter relief I felt when I finally got the help I so needed but that stemmed entirely from the not knowing. Because if you're anything like me (a curious mind), that's the part that kills you. Knowing there is something not quite right but not knowing what it is. Don't get me wrong once I knew I was likely to suffer with swings of depression for the rest of my life, I cried for a while. Its not a war I'm ever going to win, it'll always be there because the capability has always been there. All through school the highest highs and then the unexplainable lows. And never ever truly knowing why somehow made it worse. 

However, I don't intend to let this particular label get the best of me. I am not my depression and you are not yours. 

Please don't EVER feel you're the only one going through this. But please don't ever let anyone tell you that it doesn't matter because it does, a lot.

Please feel free to comment with your own thoughts and experiences with depression, they are always welcome.

Here are some sites that I myself will check out too.

For support in dealing with depression:

www.turn2me.org 

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Depression/Pages/Causes.

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/help-information/mental-health-a-z/D/depression/

Be Kind to people and to yourself,

Love The Girl In Blue

xoxo