No means yes?

I'm just going to jump straight into this one. Consent. Simple enough word to grasp. The concept of it is even easier in my mind. But then again I've been living a rather sheltered life thus far. Well as of last night, my bubble has well and truly been burst.

No. You know what it means don't you?
Of course you do. Its a word everybody's heard at some point in their life.
It means whatever you asked to do, whatever you wanted to do. The somebody you may have wanted to do it to, with or for has declined. End of conversation.
There is no room for negotiation when it comes to sex.

No means no.
No does not mean,
I'll persist until she/he says yes.
Nor does it mean,
If they don't keep saying no that means they're okay with what I'm doing now.

Other words/phrases that probably mean no in these types of situations.
Stop.
Don't.
You're hurting me.
Get off me.

Its pretty disgusting that this happened to me with someone I never would've thought could so easily ignore my protests. I practically had to beg for him to stop. I had to beg someone else to stop touching ME.
I'm not even going to try to insult people who have been through anything like this by belittling what happened.
 It was assault plain and simple.

Could it have gone further?
Yes.

I'm not going to insult myself by saying I feel exactly lucky that it didn't. I don't feel lucky.
 I feel sick.
And hurt.
And guilty?
Maybe it was my fault?
Maybe I lead him on?
No.

If something like this has happened to you.
Just know, its not your fault. Telling people who feel guilty isn't going to make that feeling go away.
But you are not guilty.
I am not guilty.
Not to say that I've learnt nothing from this. I've learnt a lot. I don't ever want it to happen again.

So, to reiterate.
Consent.
Make sure you get it.
And make sure its in a way that both parties understand that that's what it is.
There is just no room for miscommunication when it comes to sex. Or anything that could lead up to it.
 But hopefully you get my point by now.


For goddess sakes be kind to people,
Love The Girl In Blue.
xoxo