No 'I' in team.

Working with other people in probably one of the most stressful things a person can make me do. I, like a lot of writers, like to work alone. Solo dolo style. Now don't get me wrong if and when situations occur that require me to share my ideas and credibility with one of more other people, I won't protest (too much) but I won't be too happy about it.

For me there are so many reasons why working with other people in a 'team' causes me major worries and issues. Reason number 1, some people are just plain lazy. That's it, its a home truth, there are certain people you come across in life be it in school or in the world of work that make you question why they are there (nowhere is this more true than in higher education). These types of people annoy me because they make what can already be quite a distressing situation, well a hell of a lot worse.

Working hard or hardly working should and is the motto of every group I have ever worked in. Meaning they are those who work their butts off to make whatever task we've been given a success... and then there the free loaders, the dead weights. They are the lead/rock to your balloon and the cause of most of your headaches.
 If working in a group has taught me anything over the years and especially recently, its that you should never EVER be made to work with your friends. You learn the pros and cons of having them on your team and spend most of your time trying to coax the pros out of them in the form of contribution. To no avail (in my case anyway). Honestly for me, its a real eye opener, its the kind of event that makes you go Hmm, this person is a slacker. Since when have I befriended slackers? Makes you wonder how you never saw their flake like nature.

Now of course I realise that there are other members of a team that can really be your saving grace. Often they are not your friend but they become a better friend than the actual friend you've been made to tolerate as a group member. This other party acts as the barrier, the line of communication even between you and your almost nearly ex-friend. The work eventually gets done, not so many feeling are hurt and in time you learn to get over the traumatising experience of working with a friend vowing never again.

Like I say, this is all good if that's the case. However, I wonder what happens when the experience is so revealing and upsetting that you find it difficult, verging on impossible to forgive and forget this 'friend'? What do you do when whatever stress inducing mess went down and the pure resentment that was born of it lingers once the group work has ceased?

In my case, I think I'm just crap at forgiving. It take me a long time to trust someone and only a second for me to withdraw that trust.

The lesson here for me (if you can find a better one then do so) is that while there might be no 'I' in team, there certainly is an 'I' in insanity and friendship. As in 'I' don't know if 'I' want to be a friend to a certain type of person who drives me insane and doesn't care because for me if I can't work with you in a group without wanting to walk away, then something is clearly missing. And I can have friends I don't trust as much as I can be one, not at all.

Be kind to one another,
Love The Girl In Blue
xoxo