How Well Do You Treat Your Parents?

I'll admit that like most children, I haven't always given my parents the respect I now know they deserve. There have been moments throughout my childhood and particularly my teen years when I have overstepped the mark. Reflecting upon those moments I realise and understand fully why I felt the way I felt and that I was in the wrong. But I suppose hindsight can do that for you, give you the ability to look at past actions with some perspective and say 'Yeah I was an idiot' or even 'Yeah I was right'.

Despite my misgivings, I know for a fact that I was the good child. That may sound a little presumptuous but believe me if you'd met my contenders, even you would hand me the title. I was (and am) the middle child of my household. My older sibling while not as much of a handful as my younger one, still liked to push the boat more than I ever did. I suppose I owe them my thanks because it meant that while they were repeatedly getting grounded for the stupid shit they were doing, I was observing and learning from their mistakes. I was smart enough to know where the line was and how much trouble I was willing to get into by crossing it. This my friends, is a lesson that my younger sibling (along with MANY others) has failed to learn.

The words spoilt and brat come to mind when I think about my sibling. Don't get me wrong I'm spoilt and by this I mean I have been given more than most kids get and I think the difference is is that I grew up respecting what I had in regards to other people and I knew that I was very fortunate. Now, the down side to this is that it has made me a little too self aware and a with a lot of guilt about a lot of things. You know those people who say sorry when YOU step on their foot? Yeah I'm the girl who apologises to other people FOR other people. Its pretty pathetic really. However, I'd rather be the sorry girl, the eternally grateful girl than the child who never appreciates their parents until the damage has been done. But maybe that's just personal preference.

All these points of course are the musings of a 19 years old English student so perhaps I should try looking at it more from the perspective of a 12 year old. Yeah I have believe me, a lot. But unlike everyone else who just put the attitude problem up to age and immaturity, I saw it for what it really was. The youngest child with a clear case of 'only child syndrome' (I know it's not a real thing but at the same time...) It really bugs me to see the two people I was raised to respect most in this world (apart perhaps for myself) be treated like doormats by a ridiculous, pathetic little child. It does more than bug me in fact, it really pisses me off! The constant arguments, the slamming of doors. It's no longer the environment I was used to growing up, its a war zone. And every day I'm still waiting for the right party to wave their white flag.

I guess what this post was really about is being one of the kids that came before the problem child and what that's like. It's awful to watch the reasons why you respect your parents be ignored and erased before your very eyes.

Respect the people who made you who you are, even if that isn't necessarily your mum or dad.

Love, The Girl In Blue
xoxo

Dear Radical Feminists.

Oh god where does one start with this one? No scrap that I know exactly where to start, I'll start at the beginning.

So I recently stumbled upon a post on my Facebook feed about Feminism. Now this was no great surprise to me (I mean I've been on Tumblr) and I know for a fact that I have some proud Feminists as Facebook friends. However this post in particular caught my eye because of the sheer crap it was drenched in.



I feel I should make it known now for all the radical feminists that will stop reading right at this point, I am not a feminist. Now, this does NOT mean that I am against all feminists. Not at all. I really can't stress this enough even though I know that for some it won't matter for they have seen those five dreaded words and have already come to a conclusion about the state of my morals. Look at it this way feminists, if you are able to make it all the way to the end of this post without listing off all the reasons why I'm a disgrace to my gender and how I'm too oppressed to think for myself, then this is not about you. If not, well I don't really value your opinion anyway.

The problem I have with this post (apart from its condescending tone) is that it assumes far too much. Firstly to assume that because a woman is not a feminist she is whole heartedly against feminism as an ideology is crap. I studied feminism both in school and in sixth form and believe me when I say, if the feminism I took pride learning about existed today, I would be a feminist. But it's doesn't. Feminism today is the same feminism that posts propaganda on tumblr and makes ridiculous claims like ones made in the screenshot above. Instead of trying to educate people on what feminism truly means to them, why it is so important to them in a respectful manner, these types of feminists insult the very people they are trying to persuade by firstly telling them they 'don't understand what feminism is' and worse that they should 'look it up'. The incredible amount of pressure I have felt as a female to adopt the ideologies of feminism is disgusting. No actually that's not the gross part, the gross part happens once you reject it. 'You're a misoganist, you're too stupid to understand what you're rejecting, you're a disgrace to womankind', are just some of the many ludacris claims I've had thrown my way by enraged so called feminists. 

Let me address these concerns right now. I am an educated open minded (still in progress) woman of the 21st century. My brain works perfectly well thank you very much and while I get that to you the idea that because I have no interest in labelling myself as a feminist is due to anything other than my inability to grasp such a complex ideology is quite frankly pompous bullshit. I'll tell you what turned me off feminism, feminists. Simple as that. I took one (actually several) hard looks at what feminism was and what it used to stand for and what it has become and I said no thank you. I want no part of a feminism that values feminism over women. This is what the statement above is screaming to show to me. We care about all women and men (yeah right who are you fooling) until you disagree with us, until you stand outside the perfectly neat and corrupted lines we've drawn out for you. Gee doesn't it sound familiar feminists? Doesn't it sound an awful lot like what you claim to be against in the first place? 

I must admit this post made me laugh more than it angered me because if anything it only further proves my point, which is that the people steering the feminism train today have very little clue what being respectful is and yet they have the gaul to preach morality and tell non feminists (as if this is the only label they deserve) that they are spitting on the sacred struggle of the past 200 years, a struggle I'd like to point out that they also have had nothing to do with. Unfortunately feminists, ignorance is something I associate with your most radical believers and not with those who fail to buy what you're selling . 

For me there is a line that defines the people I respect and the people who don't really deserve it. And it's got nothing to do with what you believe, if you respect me, I respect you. That's it. It really is that simple for me. My issue lies not with feminists as a whole but with your most aggressive, closed minded and sexist members. The feminists who claim they respect women but can turn on their own gender almost as quickly as they dole out the word misogamist. Feminist who claim they want equal rights for all but see men as the lesser sex. This post actually sickens me. What sickens me more is the idea that there are people who saw this and shared it and thought they were helping their cause. Yeah bravo for judging all women based off of your beliefs alone. Congratulations for spitting on the legacy of women of the past, present and future. (Oh and side note to whom ever wrote this, both men and women were slaves not like that was one of the worst crimes against humanity or anything right)?

You know that old saying 'you'll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?' Yeah something you might want to think about next time you think of posting shit like this again. 

Love The Girl In Blue 

xoxo