The Art Of Letting Go.

I find letting go of anything, a very hard thing to do. As a friend I am loyal sometimes to a fault but as an ex-friend, I am fierce and unforgiving. Very unforgiving. I guess my point is, I'm fantastic at holding grudges and it acts as a cloud which hangs above my head for the longest time.

But this post isn't exclusively about letting go of ill feelings towards someone, it is also about learning to care a little less and forgive a little more. Hard goals to achieve I know, believe me I'm still working on it but just know if you are like me and love to hold a grudge, that it does you way more harm than it does the person who has done you wrong. Whether they deserve your anger or not (and in my case they certainly do), at some point that anger ought to turn into a lesson.

Someone hurts you? Don't trust them again.

Owed something from someone and they won't give it back? Don't lend to them or anyone you can't rely upon again.

Not happy in relationship/friendship? Let it go, as cleanly as possible.

Learning to let things go in order to make yourself a better, lighter and happier person, to me is all about putting things behind you by putting yourself first. It sucks to feel like you're giving up on something that was once special, it's even sadder to know that it's not special to you any more and one day you won't care at all. As sad as it is, it can also bring comfort to know that with every friend lost, a much better one comes along. I believe that people are in our lives for as long as we need them. Friendships I no longer have are ones that I needed at the time but people move on and change and that's okay.

All this being said, I know that there are people who (like me) will always find it harder than others to let things rest. People like us love deep and hate deeper still which is what makes us able to forge strong friendships that are hard to give up when they become weak.

Letting go can also be applied to relationships too. Disregard all the fluffy nice stuff I said about friends being in your lives when you need them for this section because this particular thing is not at all like the other.

There is one major example that rushes to forefront of my mind when I think about the struggle of letting go of a relationship or an 'ex' (shudders.) Actually scrap that because I can think of two and although they differ in their crimes against me, the severity does not. Forgiving someone who broke your heart is something that even I can't put into words. It feels unending and just when you think the worst is over, you hear that specially assigned text/ring tone on your phone and you know that the cycle is about to repeat itself.

But unlike friendships, most awful exes deserve to be in the past and they never should have been in your life because all they taught you was how you must really hate yourself more than you first thought otherwise why would you put yourself through their bullshit? I know personally, there are two people I would rather have never met at all. They didn't manage to teach me anything useful and they still hover around me like vultures waiting for the more skilled predators to clear the lot so they can pick away at the rest. They are sucky people and it often feels like there is no art to 'letting go' of the fact that they suck but I am slowly (very slowly,) changing my attitude towards them by realising that I can't change the fact that they existed nor am I likely to forget it, but what I can do is forgive them while swearing to myself that I won't go there again.

People can change but they need to change away from you, let that ex gooooo.

The one thing that makes shaking off a grudge or hard feelings, slightly less painful, is the ultimate pay off of it all. Once you realise that they don't matter to you or that you're through allowing them to hurt your feelings, everything just gets that little bit brighter. I don't believe in karma so my mantra is less What goes around comes around and more Well, that suckers goanna die too! Perhaps I could learn something from Buddhists but hey I won't lie, there are still some people friends and others that bring a foul taste to my mouth upon memory, its all a learning process.

Let yourself be pissed off about things but then let them go, you'll be a healthier person to be around if you do.

Be good sports.

Love,

The Girl In Blue
xoxo